Outercourse is the New Intercourse
You Just Watched:
Foreplay is important and outercourse is the new intercourse. Watch this video for tips on better foreplay.
Transcript: Ian: I get asked this question a lot; how important is foreplay? I especially want to say to the men...
Ian: I get asked this question a lot; how important is foreplay? I especially want to say to the men out there that foreplay is all play. Logan: Without foreplay, you aren't getting any play. Ian: No play, right. Study after study shows that 80% of women do not orgasm from intercourse alone. The clitoris is the powerhouse of the female orgasm. Logan: Which is part of the vulva outside not inside of the vagina. Ian: Right, 90% of the nerve fibers that contribute to the female orgasm are located on the surface of the vulva. So I like to say that many men through no fault of their own are what I call "illclitorate." Many men need to get "clitorate." They need to understand that the clitoris is the powerhouse of the female orgasm and foreplay is coreplay. Logan: Foreplay is also important because women need to turn on head to toe. Sexuality and arousal is holistic. We need to turn on mentally, physically, emotionally. When you just go right for intercourse, we kind of freak out a little bit, we are a little bit uncomfortable. We need to turn on. We need to take time and you need to take time with us. And not just the breast and genitals, all the other erogenous zones; the back of our neck, the back of our knee, our hips, anything else. Ian: All of that touch produces oxytocin, which helps women engage in sex. All that foreplay helps women deactivate mentally which is also important to female orgasm. And let's remember that in the end, and orgasm really consists of two processes physiologically; blood flows to the genitals and tension developing throughout the entire body. The more foreplay the more sexual tension the more sexual tension that gets released, the more powerful the orgasm. Logan: And the better lubrication, better sex. Ian: For more foreplay tips check out other videos in this series or go to goodinbed.comMore »
sex, foreplay, outercourse, orgasm, female orgasm, intercourse, clitoris, vulva, vagina, vaginal orgasm, clitoral orgasm, arousal, physical arousal, mental arousal, emotional arousal, oxytocin, good in bed breasts, genitals, turn on, erogenous zone, back, neck, knee, hips, blood flow, tension sex health, sexuality, sex tips
Wondering what happens during your first time? These cherry popping myths will share the truth about losing your virginity. Don't believe everything you hear!
Transcript: Logan: A question that I get a lot is, 'What's the first time going to be like?' There are so many myths...
Logan: A question that I get a lot is, 'What's the first time going to be like?' There are so many myths about what it means to lose your virginity. Probably one of the biggest myths is that the hymen has to break in order to tell if someone is a virgin. Here's the thing, the hymen is a thin tissue that partially covers the opening to the vagina. And most women, most girls will tear their hymen long before they've ever had intercourse for the first time. So the answer to that is no, the hymen doesn't have to break or pop. Some women experience bleeding the first time they have sex, the first few times, some do not. Ian: You know what else I think is a big myth? That it is going to be the most fabulous night of your life, a night to remember. Logan: Oh, bad build up. Ian: You know statistics show, a lot of studies show that a lot of people regret their first experience or it didn't go well or it was disappointing. I know for a lot of men, especially a lot of young guys, they end up prematurely ejaculating. Which is a problem that I'll talk about in a later video but is really quite common. And also most women don't orgasm from/during their first experience either. Logan: We have big expectations for the first time and ideally the first time is wonderful, but your right it doesn't mean you're going to have an orgasm. Also, some people, both men and women, think you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex. Well, the truth is you can get pregnant. You can also get a sexually transmitted infection the first time you have sex. If it's unprotected, there's a risk. Ian: I played Moody Blues the first time. Big myth: Moody Blues does not lead to female orgasm. Pick your music well. But it is important to relax and enjoy. Logan: Yes, and destress and communicate. Talk about what you want your first time and hopefully it will be somewhat pleasurable. Ian: And do it with somebody that you care about. You're going to remember it. Logan: Intimacy is a good thing. For more information on good in bed tips, check out goodinbed.com or other videos in this series.More »
sex, virginity, losing virginity, sex myths, virginity myths, hymen, sexually transmitted diseases,premature ejaculation, pregnancy stds, stis, regret, disappointment, relaxing, enjoying sex, music, good in bed sex health, sexuality, sex tips Moody Blues, cherry popping
Many people get nervous before their first time with a partner. But you don't have to worry, view this video to get some tips on how to impress your first time.
Transcript: Ian: So this is a question I get a lot from men and from women, 'It is my first time, how do I impress...
Ian: So this is a question I get a lot from men and from women, 'It is my first time, how do I impress my partner?' Logan: And it is a huge fear, a huge fear and insecurity. What if my partner doesn't like what I'm doing? The first thing to remember is to manage your expectations. For example, most women don't have orgasms from intercourse alone. So if your expecting that and that doesn't happen then you might feel badly about yourself. And the fact is, know in advance it probably won't happen from sex alone. Ian: On that same note, studies show that for women to actually enjoy sex and experience orgasm, that parts of the female brain that are associated with stress and anxiety need to deactivate. The first time really can sometimes be a stressful experience. Really focusing on the relaxation bit whether that means dimming the lights or spending a lot of time on kissing and foreplay. Because arousal is it's own neuro-chemical cocktail. The more you let that cocktail do its work, the more inhibited you become, the more relaxed, the more aroused you become. Logan: And you want to be well lubricated especially the first time. You want your partner to be well lubricated. The only way to do that really is to spend some time on foreplay. That will make sex much more enjoyable for both of you.Ian: Exactly. Men, you really need to remember the clitoris is the powerhouse of the female orgasm. There are certain sex positions like 'woman on top' where a woman can really control the persistent pressure against the clitoris. I think 'woman on top' is the position that a woman is most likely to have an orgasm in. Logan: Well, yes. I think it is important to just remember any position where you have access to a woman's clitoris--or at least you can spend some time during intercourse stimulating a woman's clitoris--is going to be a good position. Ian: And like we talked in our other video, outercourse and foreplay and just doing everything you can. So check out those other videos. For tips on how to be a great lover and how to be a great partner and how to communicate, you can go to goodinbed.com or check out other videos in this video series.More »
Last Modified: 2013-06-13 | Tags »
sex, first time, how do i impress my partner, orgasm, intercourse, kissing, foreplay, clitoris, female orgasm, making sex enjoyable, sex positions,sexual insecurity, arousal fear, anxiety, relaxation, lubrication, stimulation, outercourse, good in bed sex health, sexuality, sex tips woman on top
Does size matter? The answer varies with what men and women want. Check out this video to have more insight on this topic.
Transcript: Logan: So I know you're probably wondering, does size matter? It is a question that is probably as old...
Logan: So I know you're probably wondering, does size matter? It is a question that is probably as old as time and the answer isn't simple. Ian: As a guy, we really think that size matters. I personally believe that size shouldn't matter. Most guys first of all fall into an average of 4 to 6 inches, really around 5 inches when erect. And that's the average for the vast majority of men. There are guys that can be too small. There's a condition where I think it might up to 10% of men have micropenises Again, that's not the average. Of course, the opposite problem being too big can also be a problem. When you think about it, 90 perfect of the nerve fibers that contribute to the female orgasm are located on the surface of the vulva and respond to stimulation. Logan: Except that being said, there of plenty of women who will tell you, 'Yes, size is an issue.' It might just be a psychological thing that perhaps having a larger penis makes someone a better lover, which isn't necessarily the case. But also women find girth important. Thickness of the penis becomes important. And part of that is the thicker a man's penis is the more likely it is to stimulate nerve ending in the vaginal walls, especially in the front because the further back you get the less nerve endings. Ian: I think that you do make an impression via size often one way or the other. I think again guys often worry too much about it. Usually, the women who complain about a guy's size are very often the women who also aren't having orgasms. I would say all the guys out there who are worried about the size of your penis focus more instead on your ability to understand your partner, to respond to your partner. Logan: And remember that size comes with challenges too. Being too large for your partner can come with certain kind of bruising or vaginal tearing which would be very uncomfortable. I think it is important to be comfortable with who you are. Ian: And if a guy is too big, if he's aware of that, he might say introduce some personal lubricant into it. Or with a woman certainly there are positions. Again, it really does come down to communication. So size in the end, it matters? It doesn't matter? It matters to you? Logan: It's still up for grabs. For more sexual health tips like these check out goodinbed.com or more videos in this series.More »
penis size, average penis size, does size matter, penis size when erect, erect penis, erection, micropenis, too small, too big, thickness, girth, sex positions, making sex enjoyable bruising, vaginal tearing, arousal, orgasm,female orgasm, discomfort sex health, sexuality, sex tips
Women sometimes fake orgasms, but men do too. Find out the reasons a man would fake an orgasm by watching this video.
Transcript: Ian: This is a question that is obviously on every man's mind is how to know when a woman is faking it,...
Ian: This is a question that is obviously on every man's mind is how to know when a woman is faking it, or why does a women fake it, and how to deal with faking. Logan: You know why we're faking it? We're concerned about your ego. We don't want you to feel badly about your sexual prowess. And we do ourselves a huge disservice when we fake it because than neither of us actually get the satisfaction that we want. Ian: I think in some cases, a lot of women living in a world of media, growing up in a world of media that kind of focuses on sex tips to pleasure men, a lot of women sort of don't always know how to receive pleasure as well as give pleasure. Logan: And forget about the importance of getting pleasure themselves. Ian: I should also just say to the guys out there that the more you get your sex tips from porn, actually the less likely that a woman is to have an orgasm. Studies have shown that for a woman to really enjoy arousal and experience an orgasm she really has to be able to relax and disconnect. And that means just feeling completely secure in herself and her own body. If you're worried whether or not you have to make like a pornstar' you might fake like a pornstar but your not really going to have an orgasm Logan: And it also means for men checking in with their partner to really say, 'I want you to have pleasure. Please show me, tell me what I can do.' Ian: And it's also like a little bit for the all women out there too' for us guys, if a tree falls and there's nobody there to hear it does it really fall? You have to speak up and tell us. Like a lot of women, especially in my practice will say, 'I've been faking it for years.' And they're so angry. Logan: Oh that does a huge disservice to everyone. Ian: 'and the guy is like, 'I don't understand I thought I was doing great?' Logan: I know, we do have to speak up and we have to talk and we have to be honest or else neither of us is going to get the pleasure we want and deserve. Ian: So viva la vulva. And for more videos in this series check out goodinbed.com or check out more videos and more tips in this series.More »
sex, orgasm, faking orgasm, female orgasm, is she faking it, ego, sexual prowess, sexual satisfaction, making sex enjoyable, how to tell if she's faking it, better sex, good in bed arousal, pleasure, relaxation, communication, talking with your partner sex health, sexuality, sex tips media influence, porn
Is it possible for a man to fake an orgasm? Watch this video to learn why a man may want to fake ejaculation, and how he gets away with it!
Transcript: Logan: There are a lot of women who are out there and wondering is it possible for a guy to fake it?...
Logan: There are a lot of women who are out there and wondering is it possible for a guy to fake it? And what does it mean if your guy is faking an orgasm? Ian: Well, it is absolutely possible for men to fake it. Logan: Which a lot of women are going to be surprised by. Ian: I know, and a lot of women refuse to believe that. They think that they are the only ones that can fake it and get away with it. Let me first say that men who fake that is actually on the rise. It's really a product of a situation that's called delayed ejaculation. A lot of men these days are on medications, especially SSRIs and antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs that have the side effect of delaying or inhibiting ejaculation. I want to say that a lot of men who are suffering from sexual side effects and don't want to bruise the ego of their partners or don't want to hurt their partner's feeling will end up faking it. And honestly, if you're using a condom, first of all which a lot of people are using' Logan: 'and should be using. Ian: 'than it's no problem. A guy will just do the same thing a woman does; groan a lot, thrash a lot, and fake it. But also I do have to say, that even a lot of women will say, 'Well, I will know because we don't use condoms.' But the seminal output, the seminal fluid varies from guy to guy and from situation to situation. So it's absolutely possible for a guy to fake it. Logan: And if we're good, caring partners who believe in mutual pleasure than hopefully we're talking to and we're saying, 'If this isn't satisfying to you, let us know because we want you to feel pleasure too'. So we women have a role in this as well. Ian: Absolutely, and very often it is not a function of the person that a guy is with. It is not a function of his partner, it really is usually is a side effect related to medication or some deeper level of stress or anxiety. Logan: Or the pressure we put on being a great lover or having great sex. And that can be as anxiety producing for a man as it is for a woman. For more tips like these, check out more videos at this site.More »
sex, orgasm, faking it, is he faking it, male orgasm, faking orgasm, can men fake orgasms, delayed ejaculation, ego, sexual prowess, stress, anxiety medication, SSRIs, antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, causes of delayed ejaculation, medication side effects, sexual side effects sex health, sexuality, sex tips
Taking forever to orgasm? There are plenty of factors involved in delayed orgasms. Watch this video to learn more about the topic and get tips for a quick orgasm.
Transcript: Logan: You know, Ian, in this world of instant gratification, we want everything and we want it fast....
Logan: You know, Ian, in this world of instant gratification, we want everything and we want it fast. And when it comes to sex and pleasure if just doesn't work that way. So there are plenty of women who are wondering why it takes them so long to reach orgasm? Ian: One of the first things I would say again, as we've said in some other videos, for a woman to enjoy arousal and experience orgasm it does require parts of the brain to deactivate, which means being able to really relax and let go. I think a big part of is also a lack of persistent clitoral stimulation. Often, very often, I think just when a woman is really getting excited and getting really aroused and doesn't want a guy to stop what he's doing, he often will change things up. Logan: At very inopportune moments. And the other thing about women is that we don't always feel comfortable talking about our bodies and we are not as familiar as men are with masturbation. So sometimes it takes us a while because we don't even know what turns us on. And if we don't, I don't know how we expect someone else to get it right. Ian: And women are slower to arouse than men. That might just be an evolutionary function of how we're sort of wired and how our bodies are kind of mechanized. Blood flows very quick into the male genitals and guys get erect very quickly. Most guys will ejaculate within 2 minutes or so of intercourse. Women just require a lot more persistent clitoral stimulation. Logan: Right, so foreplay is so important. Not being stressed about the time it takes to have an orgasm is important. And really just disconnecting and kind of enjoying the journey and not just waiting for the end. Because if we just wait for the orgasm then it can psyche us out all together. Ian: Perfectly said. Logan: For more sexual health tips like these, check out goodinbed.com or other videos on this site.More »
Last Modified: 2014-07-24 | Tags »
sex, orgasm, reaching orgasm, delayed orgasm, sexual gratification, sexual arousal, clitorial stimulation, climax, slow arousal, taking too long to orgasm, why cant i orgasm masturbation, sexual excitement, relaxation, blood flow, genitals, being turned on, what turns women on sex health, sexuality, sex tips
In addition to being fun, orgasms also have some health benefits. Learn more about orgasms and your health from this video.
Transcript: Ian: This is something that I end up talking about a lot because there really is a correlation between...
Ian: This is something that I end up talking about a lot because there really is a correlation between one's overall health and your sexual health. It's important to have a healthy sex life and it is important to have orgasms. Orgasms are healthy. Logan: That's the big headline here. Orgasms are good for your health. And people are going to love hearing that. Because it is not just pleasure for the sake of pleasure, right. I mean, being sexually active and having orgasms means that you boost your immunity, you're producing attachment hormones so you're bonded, you're alleviating stress and menstrual cramps -- all these great things. Ian: You're burning calories. You know if you're a little energetic, your burning calories. For men, when you orgasm you're also flushing toxins out of your prostate. So you're actually helping your prostate health. And there have been studies in male sexuality that have shown that men who have orgasms 2 to 3 times per week are less likely to have heart attacks than men who don't. And what that is actually saying is not that orgasms prevent heart attacks but that if you're overall maintaining a healthy lifestyle, you probably have a healthier sex life. You're having more orgasms and hence you are healthier and happier overall. Logan: So pleasure is good for you. Ian: For more tips on pleasure and enjoying your sex life, check out more videos in this series.More »
sex, sexual health, overall health, health benefits of sex, orgasms, healthy sex life, hormones, burning calories, prevent heart attacks immunity boost, flush out toxins, stress relief, menstrual cramp relief sex health, sexuality, sex tips, prostate health
We don't hear much about male multiple orgasms. Find out if they're possible and how they work in this video.
Transcript: Logan: We hear often about women and multiple orgasms, but we don't hear that much about men. Probably...
Logan: We hear often about women and multiple orgasms, but we don't hear that much about men. Probably because of that refractory period we all hear about. So is it possible, Ian, for men to have multiple orgasms? Ian: It is possible. Well, you hear a lot about male multiple orgasms. One thing I want to say is that women have a genuine physiological capacity to have multiple orgasms. Because after a women has an orgasm, there is more blood that lingers in the genitals and there's still residual sexual tension. As you said earlier, men tend to go very quickly into the refractory period, which is the pre-aroused state. Logan: Which is the roll over phase. Ian: The roll over and start snoring phase or I don't know, go to Hulu and watch something. What I want to say is men can experience multiple orgasms but not quiet in the same way. See men experience...as a guy gets aroused right before he ejaculates, he experiences a point of ejaculatory inevitability. And that means that with or without further stimulation, a guy's going to ejaculate. Logan: It's going to happen Ian: But as a guy and as a woman and as his partner, if you become attuned to those moments right before the moment of ejaculatory inevitability, there are actually a few pleasurable sort of orgasmic contractions. Guys might emit a little bit of seminal fluid also called pre-cum, and that feels good. But you really have to sort of be able to navigate. It's kind of like being able to go right up to the brink and pull back a little bit and go back'. Logan: So you have to really need to know your body and your partner's body. Which takes some time to learn. Ian: And that is different than the female body. Women have a more genuine, more physiological innately capacity for multiple orgasms. But again men can have, it is really about extending pleasure and being aware and in tune with your partners body. Logan: So you hear that; men can have multiple orgasms. For more tips like these, check out good in bed.com or other videos on this site.More »
sex, orgasms, male orgasm, orgasms in men, climax, male arousal, orgasmic contractions sexual tension, genital blood flow, arousal, ejaculation, seminal fluid, pre-cum sex health, sexuality, sex tips
Quick, instant and passionate love making can have more benefits than you might think. Watch this video to learn more about quickies and their benefits.
Transcript: Logan: We have sex for all different reasons and sometimes we have quickies. What's the benefit? Ian:...
Logan: We have sex for all different reasons and sometimes we have quickies. What's the benefit? Ian: Well, I think that quickies are great in terms of enhancing intimacy. Especially these days, I mean we are all so limited with our schedules. Logan: Time is limited. Ian: That actually taking the time to have a quickie or at least' I like to think of quickies as not so much experiences that have to have an orgasm because actually a quickie probably may lead to a guy having an orgasm but more than likely' Logan: Chances are she's not getting one. Ian: Right. That said though, there are definite benefits to quickies for women. Again, not so much the intercourse or the orgasm part but for example there was a study that showed that if you hug your partner for 30 seconds, especially in women, it increases oxytocin. And oxytocin is a hormone that helps a woman to feel connected. It is called the cuddle hormone. So just taking 30 seconds. I mean I would consider a 30 second' I mean a 30 second hug is a quickie of a certain type? Logan: I don't know if our viewers will think the same as you. But any kind of touch even if it is a fast and furious sexual experience is still touch. Ian: And it builds up anticipation and it tantalizes you and I think there are so many mental benefits to just constant physical intimacy. Logan: And a great release even if it's, you know, only a couple minutes long. So for more information like this, check out other videos in this series.More »
sex, quickies, benefits of quickies, enhancing initmacy, touch, physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, hormone increase intimacy, hugs, orgasms, intercourse, oxytocin, cuddling sex health, sexuality, sex tips
Can’t ejaculate during sex? Delayed ejaculation is a growing problem that can occur for a couple of reasons. Watch this video for more information.
Transcript: Logan: There's some women who have a lot of questions about why it seems like their male partners can't...
Logan: There's some women who have a lot of questions about why it seems like their male partners can't ejaculate or don't ejaculate except for if they're engaged in oral sex or if they're masturbating. Ian: Well, delayed ejaculation really is a growing problem amongst men. And there are actually two reasons for delayed ejaculation. One is millions of men are on antidepressants and drugs and SSRIs that have the sexual side effect of delaying, if not completely inhibiting ejaculation. So that's one problem, if a guy's on a medication like that. Logan: And they're not always talking to their doctors about it. Ian: No, so he's likely to have that problem. The other thing that is interesting is really the rise of Internet pornography. The proliferation and the easy access to internet porn has lead to a phenomenon where a lot of guys are masturbating a lot more than they would normally or over masturbating. What that actually leads to is a clinical condition that's called idiosyncratic masturbatory style. It's a bit of a mouthful, idiosyncratic masturbatory style. But basically what it means is that a guys has gotten himself accustomed to a kind of pressure and friction and rhythm that isn't really approximated with sex with a real person Logan: So vaginal intercourse can't mimic that sensation. Ian: Exactly. Luckily, it's pretty easy to reverse. And I hear this from a lot of guys too, 'Hey, what's the deal why am I having so many problems ejaculating during intercourse?' The first thing I would advise of course if you're on a medication, look into the sexual side effects of that medication. Then also ask yourself, are you masturbating more than usual? If you are, give yourself what I would call a porn break or a masturbation break. The other thing to do is when you're masturbating to masturbate with your non dominate hand. So if you're a righty and you normally masturbate with your right hand, masturbate with your left hand because that will reduce the pressure and friction on the penis. Logan: And mix it up so that you don't have the same sensation all the time so you can start to have pleasure from vaginal intercourse. For more sex tips like these, check out other videos in this seriesMore »
ejaculation, sex, trouble ejaculating, delayed ejaculation, idiosyncratic masturbatory style, cum, cumming, why cant i ejaculate, intercourse masturbation, oral sex, porn, antidepressants, SSRIs, anti-anxiety drugs, internet porn, excessive masturbation sex health, sexuality, sex tips
Libido can change for men and women, and getting in the mood can be hard thanks to stress and lifestyle. Learn more about sex and relationships in this video.
Transcript: Ian: This is a question I get from both men and women which is just that, "My libido is changing. My...
Ian: This is a question I get from both men and women which is just that, "My libido is changing. My desire is less than it used to be." I hear it with men. I hear it with women. What's your take on it? Logan: It's a hard thing to talk about because we get all these media messages everywhere we go of all this sex we're supposed to want all the time. When our actual libido doesn't match we start to feel badly about ourselves. You know for women it could be a couple things; a decrease in testosterone, this kind of depletion of hormones, lifestyle, stress. We don't always have sex like we did at the beginning of a relationship -- relationships evolve. Ian: And that is totally true of men. You know, sex changes over the lifecycle. I think for a lot of men it is frustrating, especially for guys like when they hit their 30s or into their early 40s. They are starting to noticed that their erectile quality is changing, their libido is changing and it has a lot to do with your overall health. You know, you need to eat right, you need to diet well, you need to exercise, you need to manage stress, you need to lay off the cigarettes and lay off the alcohol. All of that affects your sexual health. And then I think a lot of it also has to do with being in a relationship and being in a long-term relationship and needing to maintain some spontaneity. Logan: Which we recognize is really hard to do. It can't always be like it was in the beginning. But we also have to make time for our relationships too. And sometimes getting back in the saddle so to speak can rev up the libido in a different way. You can create that. Ian: Just doing it. Logan: Just do it. Ian: And there really truth in the phrase use it or lose it. You gotta use it. Logan: I think so. And also if you're feeling less than amorous, talk to your partner about it. Because if you're not saying that your upset with it, than someone starts to think they're just not interested in me anymore. Ian: Desire is not just a light switch. You don't just turn it on or off in men or in women. For more sex health tips, check out other videos in this series.More »
sex, libido, hormones, in the mood, sexual desire, decreased libido, spontaneity, changing erectile quality, middle age, thirties, forties, 30s, 40s, causes of decreased libido, improving libido decreased testosterone, decreased hormones, stress, anxiety, diet, lifestyle, exercise, alcohol, smoking sex health, sexuality, sex tips media influence