Are You Second to Porn?

Ian: This is a question that I get a lot from women and also from guys: Guys telling me,  “Hey, I’m masturbating to porn a lot more than usual. Could this be a problem?” The first thing I want to say is masturbation is healthy and I don’t necessarily think that porn is a problem. Guys are extremely visual they respond to visual stimulation. Porn is just part of in some ways having a healthy approach to masturbation.  Logan: I’m glad that you say that, Ian. Because I think that both men and women use erotica and pornography in a lot of ways. It does serve a purpose; it turns us on,  it can enhance our fantasy life. That being said, you know it does come with some challenges too.  Ian: I think the biggest problem is, especially with internet pornography and the easy access and the rapid proliferation of internet porn… Logan: And 24 hour access… Ian: …And 24 hours. I think a lot of guys use it as a crutch. Some guys use porn to self medicate and deal with anxiety. Sometimes men find it’s easier to masturbate than have sex with their partners-- it becomes kind of a form of lazy sex.  Logan: So that certainly becomes a problem. Ian: I think if it is detracting from your relationship. I also think that some guys suffer from something that I call “sexual attention deficit disorder.” I coined the term, it’s not a real medical term. I think that guys with porn get so used to a degree of visual stimulation and a high degree of visual novelty that they sometimes have a hard time focusing on prolonged acts of intimacy. Logan: It’s really interesting that you say that. I think we are starting to see kind of the effects of long-term pornography use. But also we have to remember how to use pornography in a safe way, how to involve it in our relationships, how to make it not a supplement or replacement for partners. And also, to recognize that it does not take the place of a real life relationship nor should it teach about how to engage in a relationship with someone else.  Ian: And you made a great point which is that one of the nice benefits of porn becoming a little more mainstream is that couples can enjoy it together without the same stigma or taboos. So not and easy question with a simple answer -- can be pleasure, can be a problem. And if you want more videos in this series, just check them out. More information available in this series.