Emotionless Sex?

Logan: I often get questions from women who are saying, 'I'm having sex, I'm sexually active but I'm not fulfilled. I'm not really into it. It really isn't doing anything for me emotionally.' Are you hearing this too in your practice? Ian: I do. I wonder if part of it is a function of a hook up culture? I think ultimately in the end, sex can be a very meaningful, intimate act. And if you're hooking up casually, it might be fun, it might even be orgasmic but it might not be emotionally fulfilling. Logan: And psychological issues do come into play here. If you're not really connected to your partner, if you're not really into it, if you're not getting pleasure, if you're just having sex for the sake of having sex, you can kind of tune out. Ian: Yeah, I think that is totally true. I think in the end if you want to have a great sex life, ultimately you need to have the kind of relationship that supports having a great sex life. So if you're disconnected, disengaged, unemotional during sex, I would say that's telling you something about the relationship that you're in and the person that you're having sex with. Logan: And that doesn't mean we need to be in these long-term, monogamous, romantic relationships, but it does mean we have to have the kind of partner that we can talk to enough to talk about the challenges that come up so we can find a way to get past them. Ian: Absolutely. And if you're bored in your sex life, it's possible you're bored in your own life or bored in your relationship. That could be a great signal to introduce some novelty into your relationship. Logan: And that's always a good thing. For more sex tips like these, check out more videos in this series.