The Right Moves
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If you're still relying on the missionary position, well then, you need some new moves. And why not ones that are sure to impress, like say, the Coital Alignment Technique? Luckily, our experts know their way around the best positions.
Transcript: Logan: Sometimes we get used to the same position and it becomes the only position we can orgasm in....
Logan: Sometimes we get used to the same position and it becomes the only position we can orgasm in. Is this normal? And why do some people only climax in one position over another? Ian: I think it's really normal, especially in a long-term relationship to develop what I would call a 'sex script.' There's nothing wrong, especially if you're enjoying the sex, knowing which positions really work for you. And everybody is different. Some women find that really being on top really provides the most clitoral stimulation. Some couples really just love missionary position. We love to say missionary is you know so simple or so boring, but it is a very exciting position in terms of the intimacy and the eye contact. Logan: And vanilla sex is still sex. I might be the missionary position but it's still sex. We read all these magazines that say, '5,000 new sex positions.' If we're not interested in those or if they don't work for us when we're trying to follow them, we start to feel badly that there is something wrong with us or our relationship. But if it works for you it works for you. Ian: I totally agree. I'm definitely of the mind if it's not broken you don't need to fix it. And if it works' It is also a question of finding the positions that work for you as well. Some men really find' just like as women need positions that provide clitoral stimulation. Like there's also the coital alignment technique called CAT. Where it's really about the base of his penis and pelvis really meeting a woman's clitoris. Instead of a lot of thrusting it is more about that persistent connection and kind of a grinding and a rocking. Some men find that they need a position from like let's say behind -- provides a lot more friction. It's really about finding what works for you. Logan: And not feeling badly if it's the only thing that works for you. For more sex tips like these, check out other videos in this series.More »
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Wondering what happens during your first time? These cherry popping myths will share the truth about losing your virginity. Don't believe everything you hear!
Transcript: Logan: A question that I get a lot is, 'What's the first time going to be like?' There are so many myths...
Logan: A question that I get a lot is, 'What's the first time going to be like?' There are so many myths about what it means to lose your virginity. Probably one of the biggest myths is that the hymen has to break in order to tell if someone is a virgin. Here's the thing, the hymen is a thin tissue that partially covers the opening to the vagina. And most women, most girls will tear their hymen long before they've ever had intercourse for the first time. So the answer to that is no, the hymen doesn't have to break or pop. Some women experience bleeding the first time they have sex, the first few times, some do not. Ian: You know what else I think is a big myth? That it is going to be the most fabulous night of your life, a night to remember. Logan: Oh, bad build up. Ian: You know statistics show, a lot of studies show that a lot of people regret their first experience or it didn't go well or it was disappointing. I know for a lot of men, especially a lot of young guys, they end up prematurely ejaculating. Which is a problem that I'll talk about in a later video but is really quite common. And also most women don't orgasm from/during their first experience either. Logan: We have big expectations for the first time and ideally the first time is wonderful, but your right it doesn't mean you're going to have an orgasm. Also, some people, both men and women, think you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex. Well, the truth is you can get pregnant. You can also get a sexually transmitted infection the first time you have sex. If it's unprotected, there's a risk. Ian: I played Moody Blues the first time. Big myth: Moody Blues does not lead to female orgasm. Pick your music well. But it is important to relax and enjoy. Logan: Yes, and destress and communicate. Talk about what you want your first time and hopefully it will be somewhat pleasurable. Ian: And do it with somebody that you care about. You're going to remember it. Logan: Intimacy is a good thing. For more information on good in bed tips, check out goodinbed.com or other videos in this series.More »
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Quick, instant and passionate love making can have more benefits than you might think. Watch this video to learn more about quickies and their benefits.
Transcript: Logan: We have sex for all different reasons and sometimes we have quickies. What's the benefit? Ian:...
Logan: We have sex for all different reasons and sometimes we have quickies. What's the benefit? Ian: Well, I think that quickies are great in terms of enhancing intimacy. Especially these days, I mean we are all so limited with our schedules. Logan: Time is limited. Ian: That actually taking the time to have a quickie or at least' I like to think of quickies as not so much experiences that have to have an orgasm because actually a quickie probably may lead to a guy having an orgasm but more than likely' Logan: Chances are she's not getting one. Ian: Right. That said though, there are definite benefits to quickies for women. Again, not so much the intercourse or the orgasm part but for example there was a study that showed that if you hug your partner for 30 seconds, especially in women, it increases oxytocin. And oxytocin is a hormone that helps a woman to feel connected. It is called the cuddle hormone. So just taking 30 seconds. I mean I would consider a 30 second' I mean a 30 second hug is a quickie of a certain type? Logan: I don't know if our viewers will think the same as you. But any kind of touch even if it is a fast and furious sexual experience is still touch. Ian: And it builds up anticipation and it tantalizes you and I think there are so many mental benefits to just constant physical intimacy. Logan: And a great release even if it's, you know, only a couple minutes long. So for more information like this, check out other videos in this series.More »
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Open communication, -- think talking about sexual fantasies-- makes kinky sex easy to initiate and have fun with. Get to know more in this video.
Transcript: Ian: Maybe you're wondering, 'How do I get my girlfriend or boyfriend to be a little more kinky in bed?'...
Ian: Maybe you're wondering, 'How do I get my girlfriend or boyfriend to be a little more kinky in bed?' I think it's really natural. You know in the beginning of a relationship you can't keep your hands off each other, you're often falling in love, and your brain chemistry is sort of doing a lot in terms of generating excitement. But after a while you kind of need to keep generating the excitement. So how do you get your partner to kind of go outside their comfort zone a little bit? Logan: Well, novelty is great. Novelty is healthy for a relationship. Even the anticipation of talking about what you may or may not want to try. Open communication: Talking about fantasies, sharing what's on your mind, things you've always wanted to do or even just verbalizing what you've heard other people do. It's exciting. It's all psychological. And that is the best part, you can always switch it up. Ian: I think what's interesting to' I think when people think of doing something kinky or having a kinky fantasy' You know fantasies in their unadulterated form are kind of extreme. But especially in terms of real sex, a little goes a long way. Sometimes talking about your fantasy or figuring out, 'Well, this is like an extreme version of an fantasy, but what's like the shallow end? And how do I dip my toe into the shallow end a little bit?' Logan: There is nothing wrong with wanting to be kinky. This word gets this really bad rap of being kind of dirty and taboo. The fact of the matter is that we all have it in us to have these fantasies that go outside of convention. Not only is that okay, but it's really quite normal. Ian: Its' normal and it keeps things interesting. If you're a little bashful about it you can always tell your partner, 'Hey, I had the sexiest, craziest, kinkiest dream. I don't know what was going on in my unconscious, but let me tell you we were doing some teacher/ student, we were doing whatever'' Logan: ''And maybe we can try it later?' Ian: The point is to start talking about it and take it from there. Logan: And own it. Own the desires. Ian: And if you want to own more of your desires, you can own them by watching more videos in this series.More »
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If you and your partner are interested in BDSM, you'll want to know how the best practices. Check out this video for tips on finding healthy pleasure in BDSM.
Transcript: Logan: A lot of people are curious about BDSM. What's it all about? And if I'm curious about it or we...
Logan: A lot of people are curious about BDSM. What's it all about? And if I'm curious about it or we practice it is there something wrong with us? Ian: Wait, BDSM is? Logan: Bondage. Domination. Sadomasochism. So four letters mean a lot of different things to a lot of people. But BDSM doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It is really about role-play and interchangeable power dynamics and getting to play roles you don't normally play in your everyday life. Ian: I absolutely agree. It is a lot of fun. You don't have to do a lot. You don't have to go too far. I think just introducing the concept mentally, you know. Especially for guys, I think when it comes to sex guys often feel like they have to be the dominate ones, they have to know everything, they have to be the ones in charge. And there is something really sexy, especially for a guy, about being able to submit a little bit. Logan: And very sexy for a woman who may not always take charge to totally take charge and be the dominate one. Ian: So it is really great to play with these power roles and to play with your imagination. I think it is also important to take things slowly. Logan: Oh, absolutely. This isn't just a pleasure and pain discussion. It is really important that above all else consent is a huge issue with BDSM -- making sure that you and your partner always have consent. That whatever you do and whatever your talking about, that you both agree to. You know people who are really practicing BDSM, they need safe words. You need words that you say that stop any kind of play and make it really clear. Ian: So if I say cumquat, stop it all. Stop everything if I say cumquat. Logan: If that's your safe word. So for now cumquat. And if you want more information or sex tips, check out more videos in this series.More »
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While spanking can be enjoyable for you and your partner, knowing when to stop can build trust as well as excitement. Check out this video to learn more about spanking gone too far.
Transcript: Logan: With all the sexual imagery out there it's really not a wonder that people are interested in doing...
Logan: With all the sexual imagery out there it's really not a wonder that people are interested in doing new sort of things, spanking being one of them. So if someone came to you and said, 'I'm kind of interested in spanking, being spanked, or spanking someone else. Is there something wrong with me?' What would you tell them? Ian: No. I would say absolutely it can be fun. To explore, again it is about touch, it's about power, it's about submitting and domination. All those are very very vibrant mental themes. I would also say to obviously take it slowly, have a safe word, make sure that your partner is fully consenting. What's interesting too though is that the more you get sexually aroused, the more you release a neurochemical cocktail of hormones and endorphins and inhibition around pain actually goes down. And so you become a little more receptive to pain, so something might feel good sort of a little later in the sexual process than early. Logan: Also we know there is this fine line between pleasure and pain. When we see people's faces in the throws of orgasm they are kind of interchangeable with pain faces too. There's definitely a fine line there. And I think it is important for people to realize there are all different kinds of touch. At different stages of sexual arousal sometimes you want a calm softer touch sometimes you want a more aggressive touch. But as long as your partner are consenting and speaking up, nothing wrong with it. So for more information and sex tips like these, check out the other videos in this series.More »
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The idea of a threesome may appeal to a number of people; however, there are some risks involved with this activity. To know more about threesome risks, check out this video.
Transcript: Logan: One of the most popular fantasies that I think we hear people talk about is having a threesome....
Logan: One of the most popular fantasies that I think we hear people talk about is having a threesome. But sometimes the fantasy is a little better than the reality. The reality of a threesome is a little bit more complicated, don't you think? Ian: I do. I mean I think it's a very potent fantasy. Men fantasize about threesomes' Logan: Women do too. Ian: Yeah, and sometimes it is two women in the threesome fantasies. Sometimes it's two men. And it is funny, this is a fantasy that people, especially men, I think become obsessed with making a reality. I also think it is a good example of how sometimes a fantasy should just be a fantasy. It is almost more fun or intriguing as a fantasy than reality. I've heard from a lot of my patients that have gone through with threesomes, A. one person usually feels a little pressured into doing it. Logan: Or left out. Ian: Or left out. Logan: Or totally left out. Ian: Or did not realize that seeing their partner have sex with somebody else was really going to permanently scar them in some way. Logan: Right, and it's not always the women that feel that way, sometimes it's the men that feel that way. The other challenge is obviously with sexual health too. You have to use condoms, definitely. You need to be using protection. Do you talk about getting tested and what the other person's sexual health is? Also, how do you choose that person? Who chooses? What gender gets to pick first? What gender is that going to be? Ian: Well, and sometimes it is a decision that also is really being made under the influence of alcohol. Logan: Which is never ever a good idea. Ian: No, I mean not only is it not good to make decisions when you're drunk or under the influence of alcohol, it could really lead to a choice of partner that might' you know if you're drinking a lot, you're possibly in a circle where there's a higher risk of unsafe sex to begin with. Logan: And again some people can get away with having threesomes and have these amazing experiences, but it is just something that needs to be more thought out than just 'we're going to try it, let's just go for it.' Ian: And guys, if you are going to have a threesome and you're involving your girlfriend or wife in it, remember she's the one that you're going to see tomorrow and tomorrow and the next day. And make sure you treat her like a queen. Logan: Very nice. For more sex tips like these, check out other videos in this series.More »
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What are the health risks of anal sex and how can you protect yourself? Watch this video for more on anal sex safety.
Transcript: Ian: So anal sex is definitely becoming less of a taboo and more couples are engaging in it, but what...
Ian: So anal sex is definitely becoming less of a taboo and more couples are engaging in it, but what are the health risks? Logan: Important to remember that anal sex just like anything else does come with sexual health risks, if unprotected. So you have to be using condoms. There's a risk of sexually transmitted infections. And possibly if someone's not using enough lubricant, anal tearing, which not only is incredibly painful but can also lead to infections later on. We can't forget anal sex can be pleasurable but it must be protected. Ian: And I think it is something you should take slowly. You should begin with manual stimulation of the area. There are also sex toys that can help. And for me I would say the key is lubrication -- lubrication and communication. Logan: Absolutely. Lubrication is essential. And talking to your partner and making sure that at every step he or she is comfortable with what you're doing. Because if they're not, than anal sex is never going to feel good and it is not something that should be part of your sexual repertoire. Ian: No, it could lead to discomfort. It could lead to damage butt. It can also be done safely and in a way that is a lot of fun. Logan: I mean you can also engage in anal sex and stimulate the clitoris at the same time. So there is certainly the potential for pleasure if you keep talking and you're safe. Ian: Yeah, it is definitely true. More couples are definitely doing it, enjoying it. And just do it carefully and always with a lot of communication. And if you want more sex tips, just check out more videos in this series.More »
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Does size matter? The answer varies with what men and women want. Check out this video to have more insight on this topic.
Transcript: Logan: So I know you're probably wondering, does size matter? It is a question that is probably as old...
Logan: So I know you're probably wondering, does size matter? It is a question that is probably as old as time and the answer isn't simple. Ian: As a guy, we really think that size matters. I personally believe that size shouldn't matter. Most guys first of all fall into an average of 4 to 6 inches, really around 5 inches when erect. And that's the average for the vast majority of men. There are guys that can be too small. There's a condition where I think it might up to 10% of men have micropenises Again, that's not the average. Of course, the opposite problem being too big can also be a problem. When you think about it, 90 perfect of the nerve fibers that contribute to the female orgasm are located on the surface of the vulva and respond to stimulation. Logan: Except that being said, there of plenty of women who will tell you, 'Yes, size is an issue.' It might just be a psychological thing that perhaps having a larger penis makes someone a better lover, which isn't necessarily the case. But also women find girth important. Thickness of the penis becomes important. And part of that is the thicker a man's penis is the more likely it is to stimulate nerve ending in the vaginal walls, especially in the front because the further back you get the less nerve endings. Ian: I think that you do make an impression via size often one way or the other. I think again guys often worry too much about it. Usually, the women who complain about a guy's size are very often the women who also aren't having orgasms. I would say all the guys out there who are worried about the size of your penis focus more instead on your ability to understand your partner, to respond to your partner. Logan: And remember that size comes with challenges too. Being too large for your partner can come with certain kind of bruising or vaginal tearing which would be very uncomfortable. I think it is important to be comfortable with who you are. Ian: And if a guy is too big, if he's aware of that, he might say introduce some personal lubricant into it. Or with a woman certainly there are positions. Again, it really does come down to communication. So size in the end, it matters? It doesn't matter? It matters to you? Logan: It's still up for grabs. For more sexual health tips like these check out goodinbed.com or more videos in this series.More »
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Women sometimes fake orgasms, but men do too. Find out the reasons a man would fake an orgasm by watching this video.
Transcript: Ian: This is a question that is obviously on every man's mind is how to know when a woman is faking it,...
Ian: This is a question that is obviously on every man's mind is how to know when a woman is faking it, or why does a women fake it, and how to deal with faking. Logan: You know why we're faking it? We're concerned about your ego. We don't want you to feel badly about your sexual prowess. And we do ourselves a huge disservice when we fake it because than neither of us actually get the satisfaction that we want. Ian: I think in some cases, a lot of women living in a world of media, growing up in a world of media that kind of focuses on sex tips to pleasure men, a lot of women sort of don't always know how to receive pleasure as well as give pleasure. Logan: And forget about the importance of getting pleasure themselves. Ian: I should also just say to the guys out there that the more you get your sex tips from porn, actually the less likely that a woman is to have an orgasm. Studies have shown that for a woman to really enjoy arousal and experience an orgasm she really has to be able to relax and disconnect. And that means just feeling completely secure in herself and her own body. If you're worried whether or not you have to make like a pornstar' you might fake like a pornstar but your not really going to have an orgasm Logan: And it also means for men checking in with their partner to really say, 'I want you to have pleasure. Please show me, tell me what I can do.' Ian: And it's also like a little bit for the all women out there too' for us guys, if a tree falls and there's nobody there to hear it does it really fall? You have to speak up and tell us. Like a lot of women, especially in my practice will say, 'I've been faking it for years.' And they're so angry. Logan: Oh that does a huge disservice to everyone. Ian: 'and the guy is like, 'I don't understand I thought I was doing great?' Logan: I know, we do have to speak up and we have to talk and we have to be honest or else neither of us is going to get the pleasure we want and deserve. Ian: So viva la vulva. And for more videos in this series check out goodinbed.com or check out more videos and more tips in this series.More »
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Taking forever to orgasm? There are plenty of factors involved in delayed orgasms. Watch this video to learn more about the topic and get tips for a quick orgasm.
Transcript: Logan: You know, Ian, in this world of instant gratification, we want everything and we want it fast....
Logan: You know, Ian, in this world of instant gratification, we want everything and we want it fast. And when it comes to sex and pleasure if just doesn't work that way. So there are plenty of women who are wondering why it takes them so long to reach orgasm? Ian: One of the first things I would say again, as we've said in some other videos, for a woman to enjoy arousal and experience orgasm it does require parts of the brain to deactivate, which means being able to really relax and let go. I think a big part of is also a lack of persistent clitoral stimulation. Often, very often, I think just when a woman is really getting excited and getting really aroused and doesn't want a guy to stop what he's doing, he often will change things up. Logan: At very inopportune moments. And the other thing about women is that we don't always feel comfortable talking about our bodies and we are not as familiar as men are with masturbation. So sometimes it takes us a while because we don't even know what turns us on. And if we don't, I don't know how we expect someone else to get it right. Ian: And women are slower to arouse than men. That might just be an evolutionary function of how we're sort of wired and how our bodies are kind of mechanized. Blood flows very quick into the male genitals and guys get erect very quickly. Most guys will ejaculate within 2 minutes or so of intercourse. Women just require a lot more persistent clitoral stimulation. Logan: Right, so foreplay is so important. Not being stressed about the time it takes to have an orgasm is important. And really just disconnecting and kind of enjoying the journey and not just waiting for the end. Because if we just wait for the orgasm then it can psyche us out all together. Ian: Perfectly said. Logan: For more sexual health tips like these, check out goodinbed.com or other videos on this site.More »
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In addition to being fun, orgasms also have some health benefits. Learn more about orgasms and your health from this video.
Transcript: Ian: This is something that I end up talking about a lot because there really is a correlation between...
Ian: This is something that I end up talking about a lot because there really is a correlation between one's overall health and your sexual health. It's important to have a healthy sex life and it is important to have orgasms. Orgasms are healthy. Logan: That's the big headline here. Orgasms are good for your health. And people are going to love hearing that. Because it is not just pleasure for the sake of pleasure, right. I mean, being sexually active and having orgasms means that you boost your immunity, you're producing attachment hormones so you're bonded, you're alleviating stress and menstrual cramps -- all these great things. Ian: You're burning calories. You know if you're a little energetic, your burning calories. For men, when you orgasm you're also flushing toxins out of your prostate. So you're actually helping your prostate health. And there have been studies in male sexuality that have shown that men who have orgasms 2 to 3 times per week are less likely to have heart attacks than men who don't. And what that is actually saying is not that orgasms prevent heart attacks but that if you're overall maintaining a healthy lifestyle, you probably have a healthier sex life. You're having more orgasms and hence you are healthier and happier overall. Logan: So pleasure is good for you. Ian: For more tips on pleasure and enjoying your sex life, check out more videos in this series.More »
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We don't hear much about male multiple orgasms. Find out if they're possible and how they work in this video.
Transcript: Logan: We hear often about women and multiple orgasms, but we don't hear that much about men. Probably...
Logan: We hear often about women and multiple orgasms, but we don't hear that much about men. Probably because of that refractory period we all hear about. So is it possible, Ian, for men to have multiple orgasms? Ian: It is possible. Well, you hear a lot about male multiple orgasms. One thing I want to say is that women have a genuine physiological capacity to have multiple orgasms. Because after a women has an orgasm, there is more blood that lingers in the genitals and there's still residual sexual tension. As you said earlier, men tend to go very quickly into the refractory period, which is the pre-aroused state. Logan: Which is the roll over phase. Ian: The roll over and start snoring phase or I don't know, go to Hulu and watch something. What I want to say is men can experience multiple orgasms but not quiet in the same way. See men experience...as a guy gets aroused right before he ejaculates, he experiences a point of ejaculatory inevitability. And that means that with or without further stimulation, a guy's going to ejaculate. Logan: It's going to happen Ian: But as a guy and as a woman and as his partner, if you become attuned to those moments right before the moment of ejaculatory inevitability, there are actually a few pleasurable sort of orgasmic contractions. Guys might emit a little bit of seminal fluid also called pre-cum, and that feels good. But you really have to sort of be able to navigate. It's kind of like being able to go right up to the brink and pull back a little bit and go back'. Logan: So you have to really need to know your body and your partner's body. Which takes some time to learn. Ian: And that is different than the female body. Women have a more genuine, more physiological innately capacity for multiple orgasms. But again men can have, it is really about extending pleasure and being aware and in tune with your partners body. Logan: So you hear that; men can have multiple orgasms. For more tips like these, check out good in bed.com or other videos on this site.More »
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